Fifty Shades Of Gray
Queens Lounge decorated for the Captain’s Ball.
January 12, 2014
Lima, Peru
“I haven't had it in a while,” I declared.
Bert looked at me questioningly with a grin but I stopped his thought right away by saying, “ I meant a cold bottle of Perrier mineral water.
”I went on to tell him excitedly that after I finished my watercolor class and on my way to the sketch and drawing class from the aft (rear), I took a shortcut to go forward (bow). I was shocked to find some women topless sun tanning on the deck. Though they were laying on their stomachs, and didn't really showed anything, I was still caught by surprise. Having caught a glimpse of them, and with the breeze blowing my hair, it was like listening to Bach A minor in G-string!
At the Crows Nest bar, Mailou, my German friend greeted me by saying, “I have news for you about your boyfriend in the watercolor class,” she started teasingly referring to the guy with the bulbous nose.
“What is it?” I pretended to be eager to hear her news.
“You know he lost his luggage and it never arrived so underneath that black shirt, is NOTHING!”
“You mean, he goes commando all around the ship?” I asked.
“Yes, but stay away from him because he is starting to smell. He hasn't changed since Fort Lauderdale!”she exclaimed.
Our laughter was then briefly interrupted by the arrival of our sketch and drawing instructor. The class went by quickly. We were each given our sketch pads, pencils and drawing boards. They were all free, as Holland America had paid for it. It is the same with our watercolor classes. Supplies paid for by HAL.
Most people left in a hurry afterwards because they wanted to dress up for the Captain's Black and Silver Ball. The dress code was formal, and right after lunch time, the ship was decorated with black and white, and silver-foil strips everywhere. Our dining room chairs were covered with alternating black and white slip covers. Napkins were also in black and white,and the dining attendants wore formal silver and black suits. The officers donned their white dress uniforms; presenting a very elegant atmosphere. Everybody else wore black, silver, and white.
When we walked out of the dining room after dinner, we came face to face with a strange woman, whose look was almost comical; it really startled me. She was walking with a very elderly man in a cane. His hair was grey and he was so bent over while he was struggling to walk in the direction of the piano bar. According to my husband, there's really nothing wrong with his bent body. It made his eye level directly at her bust level!
He walked so slowly that it would have been perfect for a time lapse photographer to catch the action from start to finish. I swear that if we were cruising in Alaska we could have seen glaciers drift by faster. His very stooped shoulders were draped with an ill fitting grey sweater matched with very pointed leather shoes. She was wearing black gladiator style high heels adding to the incompatibility, and style of their garb on board the ship especially, on a very formal night. It looked like Project Runway gone really bad! The gaze of everyone was upon them.
Later at the Piano bar, a friend asked us, “ Have you seen that woman who walks around with fishnet stockings and a Cher style Wig? She has very pointed boobs and always wear a plastic flower in her hair. She is with a very old man?” she asked with laughter in her eyes. “A few times I saw her with some other men, I don't know what to make of it,” she continued. “It's very strange.”
“Those men might be the President and officers of the five minutes (including shower) society or they must have the worst possible case of eye cataracts! “ an acquaintance joked.“They must be using Braille, that's why she's so puffed up,” Bert joked.
“He/or She must be a transvestite,”a friend interjected. “Now Bert, it is your turn to find out,”he said laughing.
The captain's Ball was scheduled at 9:30 pm and because we don't dance, I just went to the Queens Lounge and took some pictures of the lounge before the actual scene. I would have liked to wait until the dancing started, but what the heck? It will be the same scenario, almost like walking into Madame Tussaud's wax museum for free. Or as the comedian on board said, “There's so many white haired people, it is like a cue tips convention.
”On the way to our cabin we again spotted the strange woman with her thick mass of hair and gladiator sandals minus the very old man. Her thick mass of hair covered her head almost entirely. With very big reconstructed boobs, she has the figure of a woman but the looks of a rat! Bless her heart! Her hair also reminded me of the statues of saints they take out during Holy week for processions. With that hair and gladiator high heels, I can imagine, St. Veronica getting out of her pulpit in the altar and going for a stroll from the Vatican to the Colosseum, hoping to meet Spartacus. Stay tuned for more stories on our rat-face passenger and the strange “Commando” guy....
Comment
Lol Charlotte...great write-up!! I hope you got pictures of those 2 people! And speaking of "not having any for a long time"....I'm gonna git me some now! Lol......"wine" I mean! Have a fun, safe time!! From Marcelle, on Jan 18, 2014 at 05:31 a. m.